Friday, 26 August 2016

How To Survive A Friendship Break-Up

Hello again.

We all have ups and downs with our friends, but recently I've had a very big DOWN. She told me she never wants to contact me again let alone see me. So here is my survival guide to friendship break-ups.

Don't keep apologising - Once is enough, and if they don't accept your apology then you don't have to keep saying sorry over and over. If you do you can sound quite needy and desperate even if you're not.

Give them time - This brings us onto step two, giving them time. If they don't accept your apology then they're tough to please, don't contact them until they feel ready, have some time apart and see if they want to contact you again. If they do not want to, then carry on to step three.

Cry it out - Being close to someone and then knowing they don't exactly like you anymore can be very upsetting, but keeping it bottled up isn't any better. Cry until your eyes or sore or until you feel as if you don't care.

What didn't you like about them? - Think about their flaws and the reasons that you lowkey didn't like them, try to find at least eight to ten. Don't concentrate on the good things whatsoever. Maybe it was their attitude, or the way they leave the teabag in their green tea, or the fact that they like cold coffee.

Delete them - Delete any photos, videos, contacts, messages, etc. that you have of them, you don't have to unfollow them on everything, but it helps with the temptation of messaging them. Remember they are in the wrong. Not you. So don't contact or reply to them, if they want to talk they'll do it face to face.

This is my survival guide to a friendship break-up, which sometimes, can be rougher than a relationship break-up.

I love you all.
~Virgo x

Saturday, 20 August 2016

Playlist Of Electric Currents - Sleep Is A Waste Of Time

'Playlist Of Electric Currents' is a playlist that I created on Spotify, these songs inspire me and send electric currents through my body. We all have those songs and these are mine.

The songs are all acoustic because I find my electric in slow, calm songs like the ones I have chosen.

I would like to say that each of the songs have a meaning behind to why I chose them, but they don't.

These songs and these types of songs also help me with my anxiety, so I also have an anxiety/panic attack playlist, however that is currently privated.

I listen to this playlist mostly when it's late at night, because after all, sleep is just a waste of time, and during those eight or so hours that I'm asleep I could be doing so much more. Which is the reason that it's currently 23:57 and my laptop is open, and I'm writing this, and I'm playing music.

Click here to listen to 'Playlist Of Electric Currents'.

A character in a book is the one that taught me that sleep is a waste of time. If you have spare time, then use it, right now I don't need sleep. I'm not tired, even though I probably should be because I fell asleep at five AM after a flight back to England and then woke up just after ten or nine, I don't remember which. But anyway, I'm not tired and I've been hyper all day. So why sleep?

12:19 AM
I feel the need to tidy my room, but I think I might leave it for tomorrow, so that I don't wake everyone, but it seems really crowded in here all of a sudden, I also need green tea, I normally have it in the morning, but I really feel like having some right this moment.

I'd recommend listening to 'DonaldTrumpMakesMeWannaSmokeCrack - Ledinsky,' it doesn't have much meaning at all but it's great for the lols.

12:27 AM
My friends, and probably a lot of you guys, see me as a person with a good choice of words. Intellect, interesting, helpful, etc. But to be honest with you my choice of words are all inspired by others, I'm not original, I would say I'm pretty clever, but it depends in what sort of skill, lesson, hobby. I'm certainly not that interesting, unless being interesting is speaking nonsense and ranting whenever I have an argument to make. I'm crap with advice so there's no way I'm helpful.

I don't have many skills but I'm really quite amazing at the ones I do have.

12:41 AM
Sylvia Plath, a poet and author, tried to overdose on sleeping pills in her mums cellar on the 24th of August 1953. The nurse was due to arrive at 9:00 the morning of February 11, 1963 to help Plath with the care of her children. Upon arrival, she could not get into the flat, but eventually gained access with the help of a workman, Charles Langridge. They found Plath dead of carbon monoxide poisoning with her head in the oven, having sealed the rooms between her and her sleeping children with wet towels and cloths. At approximately 4:30 am, Plath had placed her head in the oven, with the gas turned on. She was 30 years old.

Her note: "Call Dr. Horder." has led some to believe that she didn't intend to kill herself but that her actions were a call for help. However I'm pretty certain it was intended. She had been attempting suicide several times over a number of years before killing herself. Had it been a call for help, it'd of been answered by the time she went through with it.

My point: People only start really caring after the incident.

"It is as if my life were magically run by two electric currents: joyous positive and despairing negative - whichever is running at the moment dominates my life, floods it." -Sylvia Plath.

My electric currents are written in others music, whether it be joyous positive or despairing negative, and while the music plays it floods my mind with either of the two electric currents.

01:22 AM

~Virgo x

How To Prevent Or Help With Panic Attacks

Hey guys!

Sorry I haven't posted anything recently, I was on holiday in Italy, there will be a separate post about that. The response on my last post was amazing, so thank you so much. :)

Something like this was requested, so here I am on a Saturday night in my front room writing about anxiety, once again.

If you want to know more about panic attacks and anxiety attacks and what they feel like then Click Here.

There are many ways to help yourself during or before a panic attack, when you start to feel the feeling on anxiety crawling up your body, then that's probably the right time to try a few of these things to prevent one:

1. Control your breathing - It's important to breathe during or before a panic attack even more than any other time. Your body breathes naturally so you don't normally concentrate on it much, but it's common to hyperventilate during a panic attack, so concentrating on your breathing just before can make a HUGE difference. Try taking deep breaths in through your nose and hold it for as long as you can, then out through your mouth, this helps with the feeling that you can't breathe. I always say that things are cliché for a reason, and controlling your breathing throughout is definitely one of those things. By doing so you're helping your heart rate return to normal, helping to lower your blood pressure and re-establish a feeling of being in control.

2. Use your senses - This was once recommended by a friend of mine who is clinically diagnosed with anxiety disorder, try closing your eyes and visualising something that you find calming and relaxing, for me it's beaches at night or watching sunsets or the countryside. Take that scene and adapt to it. You can see it, so think about what you'd smell (fish and chips, cow dung, the smell of rain etc), what you'd hear (birds chirping, waves crashing, etc), what you'd feel or the sense of touch (warm sand, grass, flowers etc). Just focus on your senses and a relaxing scene, you can even use headphones with nature sounds or rain sounds if it helps.

3. Focus your mind - Sometimes you find it difficult to focus on anything but the fact that you're panicking and that can make you feel useless and as if you can't do anything about it. If you focus your mind into doing something productive you eventually forget about the panic attack and it kind of fades away, try reading, writing, painting or drawing, stretching, meditation, going on a walk etc. or just anything that seems productive to you.

Trying to help someone with anxiety or someone that's having a panic attack is completely different to them trying to prevent one. There are a couple things that you should definitely NOT do while someone is going through a panic attack:

1. Ask if they're okay - No. They're not okay. I can't count how many times people have asked me this question. We understand that if you ask this you mean well and that you're just trying to help, but, depending on the person, asking this can actually make them worse, because it makes them realise that people are watching and that there's no escape.

2. React negatively - Once I had a panic attack in my music class, that class was small, and so they all knew I have anxiety, but yet when I had a panic attack two or three reacted the same way. Loudly, so that I could hear them, they asked: "OhmyGod is she crying?" "OhmyGod, is she okay?" Bearing in mind that I had told them multiple times to NOT do exactly what they were doing.

3. Tell them to 'calm down' - I think this has only happened once or twice to me, but this is like number one, except worse I'm guessing. I don't have much of my own opinion on this one however Scott Bea, a clinical psychologist, has quoted to HuffPost Healthy Living that "Anxiety can be like quicksand - the more you do to try to diffuse the situation immediately, the deeper you sink. By telling people things like 'stay calm,' they can actually increase their sense of panic."

If you have a friend or family member that has anxiety and/or panic disorder, then try these things to help with a panic attack:

1. Move them to a quiet or calm place - If they're sitting in class having a panic attack don't be one of those people that sit and stare and mumble and gossip about it, lead them outside into fresh air, or a less busy place that's quiet and calm.

2. Breathe with them - If the person seems to be hyperventilating then tell them to breathe in and out and do it in time with them to demonstrate (see number 1 of preventing panic attacks.)

3. Give them space - Don't swamp them with hugs, they may already feel trapped or claustrophobic so this will definitely not help, make sure they have a bit of space, but don't leave them on their own, they need you.

I hope this helps some of you and answers a few questions you may of had.

If you have any questions that have not been answered then go ahead and comment, I'll be sure to reply.

~Virgo x