Oh gosh, where to start with this one?
So, as I may or may not have mentioned before, I do have anxiety.
And it's bloody difficult to live with.
If you don't know, then anxiety is a mental disorder, it affects my everyday life. For example, I'm in a class of around 12 people that I'm close with, in geography we had been doing work until one day I was chosen to present to the class. All they saw was me crying. So today I'm going to explain what it really feels like, having anxiety and going through a panic attack.
Having anxiety means that I also have low self-esteem and that I can feel and be uncomfortable in pretty much any situation and talking to anyone can feel extremely awkward and uncomfortable at times.
Panic Attacks -
When you accidentally skip a step on the stairs and your stomach flips and your heart skips a couple of beats, that feeling lasts throughout a panic attack, sometimes I might not even be having a panic attack when I get this feeling. My mind shuts down, I'm attacked by negativity and negative thoughts, it feels as if everyone in the room is watching, their eyes sinking through you. I start shaking and crying into my sweaty palms. It lasts from 15-40 minutes for me (it's different for everyone,) but it feels like hours, like it's neverending. Breathing's hard during a panic attack, so I try to concentrate on breathing as much as I can, it also helps to block out my negative thoughts.
Panic attacks are almost like drowning, the sound around me becomes muffled but my mind is so loud that when people are staring at me (or I think I'm being stared at,) I expect them to be able to read my thoughts. You don't concentrate on sounds during a panic attack, but it's important to. Mostly you concentrate on your mind and being able to breathe.
There are a lot of things that come along with anxiety, these are a few things that I experience:
-ongoing worry and tensions
-being easily startled
-the need to go to the bathroom frequently
-trouble falling or staying asleep
-churning in the pit of stomach
( Source: http://www.timberlineknolls.com/mood-personality/anxiety/signs-effects/ )
Traumatic experiences, such as abuse, neglect, chaotic environments, the death of a loved one, divorce, changing jobs or schools, may trigger generalized anxiety disorder in predisposed women. Generalized anxiety disorder can also become worse during periods of stress.
In my case I'm not 100% sure of what exactly triggered my anxiety but I know it has something to do with my old school and a rumour that was being spread about me, along with the chaotic environment, and changing schools.
Anxiety also comes along with a bunch of stuff to pull you down even further, such as: Low self-esteem, depression etc. Not everyone with anxiety goes through depression, although anxiety and depression are often thought of as a pair of mental disorders. As far as I know pretty much everyone with anxiety will have low self-esteem though. But somedays it'll be worse than other days.
Not everyone has anxiety for the rest of their lives, it is treatable. People go through therapy and are sometimes given pills to help relieve the person of anxiety.
If you have any questions leave them in the comments and I will answer within 1-2 days.